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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423343">Oh god, the insanity is genetic.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Academy Era, Fuuinjutsu, Gen, Inspired by the Ten Year Bazooka (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Travel, Umino Iruka Does Not Get Paid Enough, do not copy to another site</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:55:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,408</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka wasn’t sure how he got here, at this very point in time, but god did he regret it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Umino Iruka &amp; Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Iruka wasn’t sure how he got here, at this very point in time, but god did he regret it. There was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>reason</span>
  </em>
  <span> people weren’t supposed to mess with space and time seals unless they were proficient in the art. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But no. Iruka, a lowly chunin teacher, was in charge of the Academy’s unit on seals. AKA, the worst week of Iruka’s year, hands down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His students had been relatively tame that morning, the clan children hushing as soon as he announced the class’s topic, no doubt having been told horror stories of seals gone wrong. The civilian-borns were a bit rowdier but easier to dishearten than the others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto, as always, was not in his seat. He burst in two minutes later, greeted by Iruka’s unheard berating, and started fiddling with a kunai in the back, obviously not paying attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By then, the chunin had just finished explaining the basic sealing radicals and their functions. “Any questions?” As always no one did, a few children looking like Iruka handed the stars to them and the rest staring at him like a madman. He asked Sakura to pass out paper and ink and sat back at his desk, grading papers and keeping a close eye on the class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were supposed to copy a simplistic seal he drew on the chalkboard, just the kanji for light. As it would suggest, the seal converted chakra into short flashes. The assignment was to modify it with stabilizers to produce a steady stream. The seal had several uses out in the field and was one of the most widely used in Genin Corps, so it was important they learned it first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka looked up from Choji’s homework to see Shikamaru sleeping (he was probably done anyway), Ino arguing with Sakura, Shino, Hinata, and Daiki conversing quietly, in contrast to Kiba, Izuru, and Choji yammering about the latest samurai movie. Most of them were finished or had gotten help, so Iruka decided to leave them be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That only left Naruto. Who was… not sleeping for once. Iruka got up from his desk and made his way to Naruto’s desk, helping the ones with unfinished seals along the way. He reached Naruto’s desk after two near-explosions, which was much better than he expected. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s handwriting was terrible, everyone knew, so Iruka was mostly worried about that. An unsteady hand in seal-making could be lethal. The blonde looked completely unbothered, picking his nails with a dull kunai, but he lit up as soon as Iruka approached him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Iruka-sensei, Iruka-sensei! Look what I made!” he said eagerly, practically bouncing in his seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka chuckled. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at the paper. The paper without a light seal. The paper with an incredibly complex seal that looked like something Jiraiya of the Sannin or Namikaze Minato would come up with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said we had to make a squiggly picture, so I made one, ‘ttebayo!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. That was not what Iruka said. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay,” he sighed after a minute. “I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> get paid enough for this, but okay. We either burn it or turn it over to R&amp;D.” Naruto’s face fell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This, understandably, caught the attention of most of the class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened!?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Burn it, burn it, burn it, burn it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ha! As if the dead-last could’ve made anything dangerous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the class devolved into its natural state of an unorganized mess, but what else was new. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the loudest of all was Naruto, who shouted, “No! It’s mine!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In Iruka’s desperation to get that unholy seal out of Naruto’s hands where it could destabilize existence itself, Naruto’s kunai, which was still in his hands, sliced through his skin. Naruto howled in pain and dropped the seal on his desk, where the blood spilled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The seal. Where the blood spilled. Shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It glowed, and with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>poof</span>
  </em>
  <span> of pink smoke, Naruto was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh Kami, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto was gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone screamed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was it. Iruka was dead. He lost Naruto, the village jinchuriki, his unofficial little brother, to a seal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An unrecognizable voice squawked, “Where am I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The smoke cleared, revealing a girl wrapped in a yellow combat kimono, about his class’s age, with long crimson hair sitting in the place of Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked around the classroom confusedly, eyes wide and blinking like an owl, but Iruka could see a calculating look in her eyes. A Konoha hitai-ate peeked out from her locks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka relaxed at the sight of it. She wasn’t an enemy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” the girl yelled. “Who are you? Where am I? Wait, is this the Academy? I graduated almost a year ago, ‘ttebane!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With all the patience he could muster, Iruka tried calmly explaining. “My name is Umino Iruka. There was an accident, one of my students spilled blood on an unidentified seal. I think you two switched places.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl looked mollified, if not a bit sheepish. “Oh. Sorry ‘bout that, ‘ttebane. I could take a look at the seal if you’d like?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feel free, but I doubt you could do much. This goes way beyond my knowledge,” Iruka said dejectedly, pointedly ignoring the gossip of the class. He handed over the seal. “Careful, I don’t know what it does. I trust,” he sent her a pointed look, “that you will not do anything foolish with this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can count on me!” she saluted, a jaunty grin playing on her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka turned back to the class, all of which were shamelessly gawking, and felt like banging his head on a wall. “Alright class, let’s get back to work. I’ll send for some specialists to investigate further.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Iruka-sensei! Can’t we just talk to that girl for the rest of class?” Ino, ever the opportunist, whined. “It’s not like we’ll get anything done in this state anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Curse children and their thought-out reasoning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka gave in with a sigh. “Fine.” He turned to the girl in the back. “By the way, what did you say your name was?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stood up, hands on her hips. Just like Naruto. “I’m Uzumaki Kushina! But you can call me Kushina. I like ramen and seals and I’m going to be Hokage, dattebane!”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>Iruka was fairly certain his brain flew out with those words. How would he explain </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the Hokage?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The reveal and other shenanigans.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’re WHAT?!” Sakura screeched, forcing Iruka to clap his hands over his ears at the sheer volume. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kushina, seemingly unbothered by her introduction, looked at Sakura questioningly. “Yeah? So?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka was torn. On one hand, Naruto was most likely related to this girl. On the other hand, he remembered who exactly Uzumaki Kushina was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The ex-ANBU Commander who died in the Kyuubi attack. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does this seal have a time component, perhaps?” he asked weakly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Kushina’s eyes brightened. “Yep, it does, ‘ttebane! How’d you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka took her arm and tried to guide the girl out of the room. “This is a bit… sensitive.” He tugged harder when she refused to move. “We should talk to the Hokage and sort this out at his office,” Iruka suggested, desperate to get the reveal and subsequent events as far away from his kids as possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her cheeks puffed out and she firmly attached herself to the desk. “No! Tell me now!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was most likely Naruto’s mom, and she said she liked ramen…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How about,” Iruka tentatively started, “we get ramen afterward?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kushina’s face broke into a large smile. “Okay!” she chirped and skipped out of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Exactly like Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone, pack up the equipment and wait for Mizuki-sensei to arrive.” The class immediately quieted. Iruka didn’t get serious often, it was never a good idea to disobey him like this. Iruka tapped Kiba’s shoulder, whispering, “Go fetch Mizuki-sensei and tell him a situation with Naruto came up and he’s to continue the lesson.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiba, although not great with stamina, was the fastest runner in the class. He bolted out the door in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka walked out the door in quick strides, hoping to catch up to the hyper red-head. He found her waiting outside the academy gates, bouncing on the balls of her toes. As soon as he was in her line of sight, Kushina waved at Iruka so vigorously that he worried her arm might’ve fallen off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A flicker of leaves appeared in the corner of Iruka’s eyes and a familiar lazy jonin appeared, single eye closed in that irritating way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maa, Iruka-sensei, I didn’t think you’d be out and about at this time. Did you finally snap and kill one of the students? How irresponsible~” Iruka’s left eye twitched, the young chunin knowing that Kakashi was fully aware of the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat, trying not to embarrass himself in front of Kushina. “There was a sealing accident in class. I’m here to take Kushina to the Hokage.” He pulled the girl who was hiding behind him forwards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gasped and pointed at him. “You look like Old Man Sakumo, ‘ttebane!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi flinched minutely. There was a huge scandal involving his father years ago, and if Iruka remembered correctly, it ended up with the suicide of Konoha’s White Fang. “Ahaha, yeah, he’s my dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kushina gasped again. “Wait, wait, wait. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kakashi?!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Is that you? What </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened?</span>
  </em>
  <span> You’re supposed to be a baby!” She wrinkled her nose at this, bewilderment clear as day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why we’re going to see the Hokage, Kushina. Let's go," Iruka gritted out, pulling Kushina with more force. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi stepped forward, moving even closer, and placed Kushina’s small hand in his gloved one. “Ja ne, Iruka-sensei.” In a one-handed seal and whirl of leaves, they vanished. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A vein on Iruka’s forehead pulsed violently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>KAKASHI!!!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, in the Hokage’s office, Hiruzen’s new headache almost surpassed Iruka’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me,” the old man started slowly as if that would change Kakashi’s answer, “that Naruto made a seal that switched him with his mother from 24 years ago?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm… I guess I am saying that!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kushina, who was previously content to ignore their conversation and pick at Kakashi’s vest, sputtered. “I’m a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mom?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Since when? I’m only 12, ‘ttebane, and I don’t care how many times Mikoto says Minato likes me, I’m not marrying him!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hiruzen felt the urge to bang his head on his desk, even more so than normal. “How should I put this?” he asked, eyes screaming “</span>
  <em>
    <span>do something” </span>
  </em>
  <span>at Kakashi. Receiving no response other than an unbothered shrug, he continued. “You were transported 24 years into the future because of a seal made by your future son,” Hiruzen managed to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. WAY!” Kushina’s eyes had sparkles in them. “My son made a working time travel seal? And he’s still in the academy?” Hiruzen felt the need to let her know it was an accident, but the excited Uzumaki was on a roll. “I mean, I’ve heard of stuff like this before, but the Seal Masters back home didn’t really do time travel because it could destabilize the multiverse, ‘ttebane.” She paused. “Wait. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is</span>
  </em>
  <span> the multiverse going to destabilize? Because I refuse to die without future-ramen.” It seemed like Kushina was done with her little monologue, crossing her arms and staring at Hiruzen obstinately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, at least that was taken care of. Now, the only thing left was to find out how to get Kushina home…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hiruzen sighed, “Is there any way you can engineer a new seal to take you back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh? But there’s already a return radical?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank the Sage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...future-ramen?” Kakashi asked unhelpfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ramen from the future, ‘ttebane,” she nodded sagely. “Since it’s 24 years in the future, the ramen has to be even </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span> now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hiruzen took a closer look at the seal, squinting at the squiggles and edges. “I’m not a sealing expert, but the return radical seems to indicate a time limit rather than an activation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lemme see.” Kushina bounced over to him. “Yeah, that’s fifteen doboshes, ‘ttebane.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long is that in Konoha Standard?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A little over twenty minutes and I’ve been here for… seventeen minutes...” Kushina trails off. “Oh no! Future-ramen, I’m coming, ‘ttebane!” The jinchuriki promptly leaped out the window and dashed in the direction of Ichiraku Ramen, fiery tresses disappearing in a blur.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then. Kakashi, I’m assigning you to keep an eye on her and make sure she gets back to the Academy by the end of the time limit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s only a few minutes. What harm could she do?” Immediately after, Kakashi cringed. “Nevermind. Keeping an eye on her. Totally.” And with those eloquent words, the Copycat Nin vanished as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Exactly three minutes later, Kakashi successfully got her miso ramen with extra chashu pork (“It’s your son’s favorite.”), corralled Kushina to the Academy, and convinced her to stay there until she returns to her time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AKA, the </span>
  <span>Red Hot-Blooded Habanero was no longer Kakashi’s problem. He walked up a nearby tree with an excellent view of the academy classroom, kicked back, and eagerly awaited the show. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed Kushina was chattering with Ino loudly while the rest of the class either watched or did their own thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know the Yondaime Hokage?” Ino squealed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the Yondaime?” Kushina replied. “I might know them in my time, ‘ttebane.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ino pointed to the Hokage Monument. “You see the face all the way on the left? That’s him, Namikaze Minato.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kushina choked. “That nerd?! </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> becomes Hokage? Seriously?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Ino’s turn to look shellshocked. “Nerd? He was, like, the strongest shinobi ever!” Exclamations of agreement rippled throughout the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he’s a total dork. And he’s girly, ‘ttebane. Mikoto says he likes me, but that’s obviously not true.” Kushina put her foot down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the mention of Mikoto, Sasuke turned to her. “Mikoto? As in Uchiha Mikoto?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, ‘ttebane! We’re best friends! Did you know that we came up with a plan to get our kids married?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly looking violently ill, Sasuke grimaced. “I don’t think she was lying… Mom used to tell me about how the Yondaime pined after her best friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stars appeared in Kushina’s eyes. “You’re Mikoto’s son? Are you gonna marry my son?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pink smoke reappeared at that very moment, Naruto reappearing in the spot Kushina disappeared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It must’ve been very confusing, Kakashi mused, coming back from the past to see the entire class staring horrifiedly at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The chaos that broke out afterward was glorious. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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